What We Do In Life...
Daily musings of a 30 year-old guy intent on making the most of the minutes, hours, days....
(Tonight’s dinner choice)
I like to think I eat sensibly. I don’t drink soft drink; I rarely indulge in ‘fast food’. But occasionally I do get a craving for something greasy and when it hits, I invariably give in. And, depending on the ‘vice’ of choice, it almost always hits the spot. But once the meal is done and the flavours have gone, it’s my body that’s left to deal with the consequences of my fast food decision. It absorbs the good stuff and the not so good stuff because it’s job is to fuel the body and it can only work with what its given.
This principle applies to more than just the food I eat. Whatever my eyes take in, my ears overhear, and my mind absorbs will affect my perspective, my speech and my decisions. When I hear sad news it makes me sad. When I see something funny it makes me laugh. Not rocket science, I know, but how often am I aware of this process in effect as I go about my day? Not often.
In the same way I know I’ll have to, at some point, work off the less than healthy offerings I choose to eat, there’ll always be a price to pay for the not so stellar things I allow myself to see, think, speak and do. So, just like I do when I indulge a not-so-healthy food craving, I need to weigh up the cost of the choices that I’m making and what I’m allowing into my life and decide if it’s worth the price of admission.
LOVE FACTUALLY…
It begins with a thread that weaves its way over and under and around and through until it’s as much a part of you as anything ever was. It’s that gentle giant that assumes its worth is bigger than the moments you wished it had never swept you up in its cunning beguile. It’s what mends the tears and kisses the scars which bear the tides of darker days that felt not its luminance. It’s what colours words like ‘grace’ and ‘truth’ and gives reach to hope’s unending grasp. It’s what finds the broken, the lost, the least and the worst and dares to make its art from their ashes. It’s the look you make and the gaze you meet when you finally find the best part of yourself. It’s those rainy days that feel like summer’s haze and what turns winter chills into sweaty thrills. It’s the want that aches and the loss that breaks the hearts of those who’ve felt its worth. It’s a challenge; it’s a choice; it’s a reason; it’s a refuge. It’s bigger and stronger and higher and greater than what you think you know it to be. And it’s infinitely more than the one day we deign to give it its expression.
There are moments in life that call you to ‘go rogue’, to rise above what you’ve long held as ‘good enough’ and ‘acceptable’ and dare to forge ahead into that which is ‘out of the box’ and ‘risky’. These moments are not for the faint of heart or timid; they are reserved for the brave ones who are just crazy enough to believe that the risk will find its reward.
Of course, just like a lone wildebeest whose strayed from its herd, distancing yourself from the crowd leaves you vulnerable and exposed. Vulnerable to criticism and ridicule, exposed to finger-pointing and misinterpretation. You don’t have the safety in numbers when you’re out on that limb for all to see. The quickest way to make yourself a moving target is to attempt that which the crowd is too afraid to risk. They point and huff and puff and try to find some fault or wrong that will bring you down and build them up. ‘The smaller the man, the bigger the the opinion’…or something like that.
But who ever achieved anything of significance by playing it safe? What is there to be gained in the madness of the routine that expects magnificence but achieves mediocre every single time? I say stray from the pack; listen to the voice that’s daring you to wander far from the maddening crowd and discover the spoils that lie in wait for those who chart their own course.
Don’t listen to the cries of the crowd; hold out for the cheers of the champions.
I’m reminded this week of the frailty of our humanity. Today, tomorrow and the uncertainty of it all. There are no guarantees of second chances or a ‘next time’.
Some of us reach journey’s end drained of life but full of years, while others complete their time with plenty more miles left in them. We can’t choose when we die, but we can decide how we live.
So jump in. Dive off. Leap ahead. Take the plunge. Whatever’s captured your heart, pursue it with abandon. Let passion be your muse as you navigate your way through your moment on earth. Set wings to ‘maybe’ and ‘one day’ and let fear take flight. Leave regret behind to line another man’s dreams. Suck the marrow, seize the day, savour the moment. Live not in the shade of ‘comfortable’ and ‘safe’. Dance with ‘adventure’; flirt with ‘danger’. Find yourself beyond the tried and worn and roam the plains of the untested and unexplored.
Bottom line: Don’t save your living for ‘someday’; it may never arrive.
TODAY…
I’m not gonna settle for bland, or mediocre or indifference. I’m gonna paint the world with my own unique, one-of-a-kind, completely original colours because I’m no copy; I’m a masterpiece. I’m not going to live in the limitations and regrets of yesterday. What’s done is done and history can’t repeat itself if I’m not the same person now as I was then. I choose to live in the untried, untested, unlimited present.
What are you expecting from life today? You’ll only get out of it what you choose to put in to it. If you’re not being heard then speak up; if you’re not happy then find what makes you happy; if you’re lonely then decide to step out of your comfort zone and make a connection with someone new.
Life is as boring or as fascinating as you choose for it to be. Don’t lose your wonder with it. Demand great things from today and you just might get them.
I Love…
I love that people have the capacity to change. No matter what they’ve journeyed through or what damage they may have caused themselves or others, no one is ever truly beyond hope.
I love that we are creative beings. We all have the ability to contribute and deposit and leave our mark on the world. And no one’s perspective is more important than anyone else’s.
I love that we always have a choice: a choice to be a positive or negative influence; a choice to complain or to be grateful; a choice to give up or keep going; a choice to change or to resist. It’s sobering to think that we don’t know how powerful this is.
I love that there’s always tomorrow. No matter what did or didn’t happen today, what mistakes were made or disappointments had, it becomes a part of our history as the sun sets and rises on a new day and we are gifted another opportunity to make the wrongs right.
I love that life will always possess a sense of wonder. No matter how jaded or disillusioned you may be with your own journey through it, if you keep your heart open, sooner or later you’ll be won over by its transcendant magnificence and it’ll become a source of amazement for you once again.
Some Routine Tweaking
I’m not really one for making resolutions as the calendar clocks over to usher in another year. The disciplined and committed few aside, so often these pledges seem to be made in haste and without the necessary conviction to see them through.
However, after taking stock of the year that has been and the year that will be, I realise that in order to grow and mature and expand myself to be for fit the adventures that lay before me, the need for tweaks in my routine are not without merit. And so I list some of them here, both as a reminder for myself and possibly as an encouragement for someone else in need of a bit of ‘tweaking’.
· I want to hold my breath more. Not because I enjoy feeling light-headed, but because I’ve taken a leap of faith on something and I’m in that place between the risk and the result.
· I want to fail more. So many times I’ve been held back because I didn’t want to fail at something, or because the odds were too stacked against me. But history is full of great men who tried and failed countless times before they had their defining moment. Each failure simply brought them closer to their breakthrough.
· I want to discover more. So much of what I understand and know of the world is limited by my own experiences. I want to find new perspectives, new points of view, new ways of identifying with the unique cultures I share this planet with. That means I need to go beyond the known and the familiar and discover the ‘fortunes that favour the brave.’
· I want to engage more. My melancholy personality means I often find it easier to withdraw and retreat rather than embrace and connect—especially when life is at its busiest. I need to remember that there are people in my life who deposit and not drain, who refresh rather than ruin. People have the ability to light up your life in ways you could never achieve on your own. I need to learn to let that light in.
Here’s to a year full of the best that life can be.
Went for a run and got caught up in a mega downpour. Near the end, soaked to the bone and loving it, I spot another guy jogging towards me. As if it was the customary thing to do, we both instinctively gave each other a high five as we crossed paths. There’s something about going against the ‘norm’ and being a little bit crazy that connects people—even if just for a moment. I love that.
All The Wise Men
There’s a quote from The Lord Of The Rings that says ‘even the very wise cannot see all ends.’ Remember this the next time you make a huge mistake, or take a risk only to fall flat on your face. Or when you’ve put your faith in someone and they’ve been less than honouring of your trust. Truth is, when it comes to making choices—in any area of your life—no matter how ‘wise’ or ‘knowledgeable’ you think are, there’ll always be that lingering question: What if this doesn’t work out? Sadly, some of us have turned this question into a sentence, living fragile lives bounded by fear.
Honestly…so what? So you tried at something and it didn’t work out how you hoped it would. I’d rather take the deflation that comes with defeat than the haunting regret from ‘what if’. If it’s a choice between a life of risk or one of playing it safe, I choose failure over fear every time. I’d rather look back over my life and see a mess of mishaps than a mass of missed opportunities.
They say that fortune favours the brave; so be brave. Do what you need to do to take a chance on something. If it’s advice you need, seek it; if it’s strength you want, find it. And if you can’t find what you’re looking for without, then chances are you’ve already got it within. I think sometimes being wise means not being afraid to be the fool. Besides, the greater the odds, the sweeter the victory.
